Best day ever...

I can't really describe it any other way. Had the amazing opportunity to go down on the field and have pictures taken with my Colorado Rockies players. It was bigger than anything i've done for a really long time. I even felt a little faint after meeting our coach and family hero, Walt Weiss. The team was all very nice and extra smiley. We didn't get to meet Tulo and the hoards around Cargo were out of hand. Cargo has the most gorgeous grin and i saw him make eye contact with X. Just unbelievable. I even gave the dashing Mr. Matt Belisle xtina's phone number. it was way sixth grade but fingers crossed he'll call her. ;) The Rockies beat the Dodgers in extra innings. It was very exciting. Definitely feeling the aftermath of too much time in the sun yesterday, which isn't really fair, i applied sunscreen on four different occasions! Anyway, i guess its back to reality. Gotta go back to work. Balls.

Here i go again...

Haven't done this in a very long time. I guess we'll see what happens. I'm ok. First day of summer break and i awake from a bad dream. A bad dream i've had before. I mean, same premise, different cast of characters. Left me a bit foggy and a touch shaken. I hate when you tried to wake up and it won't let you. I hope to not let that experience throw off my whole day. 

Got money woes but i am fairly certain things will right themselves soon. Need to grocery shop something fierce to avoid drive thrus and the like. Sucking what little we have dry. Plan to look into a website to buy the p.o.s.  poop truck off of us. A girlfriend told me i could get like 500 dollars. Fingers crossed, we could really use it, either for a wienie down payment or to fix the clutch in the sentra.  

Must still be off, must get more coffee. Pull myself together. Won't let it get me down...

crossroads

i'm getting the sinking feeling that something major is about to go down. the general feeling of unhappiness is sweeping through and i'm tried of being unhappy. i want so much for things to be better. i, too, want to be better. at everything. but i can't change everybody. i suppose i could exchange them. 

butthole cowpuncher

he drank my wine. the very special wine i was given from burkonia. homemade stuff. i was saving it to drink together but he opened it while i was at work. butthole cowpuncher. grrr. and that's just the problem, i'm always at work. i miss my boys. we so very rarely get to be together together. they've become almost like a mini frat and they certainly aren't accepting pledges. i really think its hurting all of my relationships but its not exactly the best time to give up shifts. its been too cold for him to get enough hours but not snowing yet. please let it be a nasty snowy winter. i'm thinking i may cut back my hours at the new year, if make financially this season. i want a break so very badly.

brrr...

its getting colder in scenic morrison which can only mean one thing, halloween. as always, i'm mega excited with big plans and low funds. this will be the first year i'm not making junior's costume which makes me both happy and sad. i know that buying his costume is best. he picked an obscure character, you know me, always a secret, and i fear many won't get who he's supposed to be. meh, its halloween, be whatever you want. i'm totally looking forward to piecing together my costume but fear i'm gonna ending up spending way too much. i'd love to say that it only comes once a year but right before the hoildays, i can't allow meself to get out of hand. sean wants to go to vegas for his birthday early december but i really don't see pulling that together. i've never been to vegas and i certainly don't want him to go without me but the chances of us making it happen are slim. its a trip that just keeps coming up and never seems to go through. its always money. grrr.
time to climb into my warm bed with a big fat book.

just thinking...

feeling strangely confident as of late. perhaps my constant panic has reached another level producing more false hope. i've always been a great self-soother. gonna go ahead and ride with it though, because darnit, i'd like to feel better about things.
performed poorly at work this evening, got frustrated and acted much like the old bean. sans tears, thankfully. hate getting to that point, i except more of meself, i shouldn't let any of it get to me. but that's asking meself to cease feeling and i'm not about to do that. its okay, no need to let it bring me down.
taking a day trip to estes, i love estes. going up for the day with me boys and sean's mom, grandma and an aunt. should be an enjoyable day, shame i hafta cut it short to work. arrr, work, i was trying to change the subject.
my feet hurt and i've got to get up early. another lame attempt at blogging.

motivation level low.

i'm tragically unmotivated today. gonna go ahead and blame it on the heat, but its a weak cop out. should be moppin the kitchen, vaccuuming, shopping for cheaper car insurance but instead have spent the last hour on craigslist looking at bicycles. like i can afford bicycles. or like i'd ride on in the heat. stalling. at least i haven't curled up with my book, yet. meh. wonder what i should cook for dinner. suppose this isn't getting me anywhere either. maybe an afternoon cup of coffee will help.